In spite of my desire to see you disappear by Paul Maheke is an installation at Mercer Union presented through sound, painting, and architectural forms. The artist’s previous work has explored bodily presence and desire to disappear with choreographed performances. In this installation, Maheke attempts to completely disappear from his work and only exist within sound. Upon entry to the gallery, one is immediately immersed in the intense sounds which evoke curiosity and draw you deeper into the surrounding space.
Paul Maheke, In spite of my own desire to see you disappear, 2024. Installation view: Mercer Union. Courtesy the artist. Photo: Vuk Dragojevic
Additionally, the 20-minute runtime of the show is unclear, allowing one to step in whenever they like but still understand and connect with the work. One’s perception of time also stops, and the end of the runtime is left to be interpreted by the visitor. The artist invites visitors to walk around and explore the space in any path they like. From reflective metal and plastic surfaces to areas for rest, every choice of material aids in creating an isolated space for reflection and contemplation.
Paul Maheke, In spite of my own desire to see you disappear, 2024. Installation view: Mercer Union. Courtesy the artist. Photo: Vuk Dragojevic
The experience of the space provides a feeling of safety, but also simultaneously makes one feel unsafe. Instrumental sounds gradually introduce verbal elements as male and female voices begin to narrate. Sometimes the narration is done in French, further fueling the visitor’s curiosity and desire to know the full story. The narration later dissolves into a gentle song sung by the female voice, where lyrics about the pain experienced from a relationship are accompanied by intensifying sounds. A tunnel separates the gallery space into two rooms.
Paul Maheke, In spite of my own desire to see you disappear, 2024. Installation view: Mercer Union. Courtesy the artist. Photo: Vuk Dragojevic
Inside the tunnel sounds are experienced more subtly, and the carpeted walls allow one to rest/lean against them. At the right side of the tunnel, an ottoman-like bench is placed near a wall with a speaker in front. At the left, a large, cushioned bed-like furniture allows seating in front of another speaker, or laying down and observing a television screen which has been hung facing down from the ceiling.
Paul Maheke, In spite of my own desire to see you disappear, 2024. Installation view: Mercer Union. Courtesy the artist. Photo: Vuk Dragojevic
The artist’s choice of placing those devices in front of the viewer where areas for rest are provided is a strong attempt of direct communication, like a face-to-face interaction. The television screen only displays subtitles for the narration on a black background, in ghostly hollow letters with white outlines.
Paul Maheke, In spite of my own desire to see you disappear, 2024. Installation view: Mercer Union. Courtesy the artist. Photo: Vuk Dragojevic
As the narration continues, sounds like whispers and footsteps can be heard from the other room, almost reminiscent of the feeling of being home alone. The theme of loneliness becomes evident as the narration itself mentions: “What to do with the feeling of being left alone?”. The idea of vulnerability has also taken form by the artist having handed over his personal diary entries from lockdown to a friend, Ndobo-emma, who has essentially appropriated his stories by using them for the sound work of the installation. Vulnerability is hence seen through the sharing of such fragile material with the public, but also by exploring the degree of resilience and the vulnerable state relationships themselves create. The artwork presents itself as being very real and existing within our world, or, being made of it. Although its inviting quality may form impressions of domesticity, ideas of violence presented through sound counter its tenderness and contribute to an eerie atmosphere”. A similar contradiction can be noticed in the architectural forms of the installation, where structures seem to be in the process of being built, but also of being deconstructed. Blue painted figures and faces on walls are also half-existent with their translucent quality of contour and hatched drawing techniques.
Paul Maheke, In spite of my own desire to see you disappear, 2024. A wall drawing (left) and its detail (right). Installation view: Mercer Union. Courtesy the artist. Photo: Nane Zadoorian
This constant suggestion of an in-between state, and the questioning of boundaries results in a unique and mysterious experience of the space and story. Paul Maheke has successfully created a very still yet dynamic environment formed by the experience of sound and physical surroundings. This exhibition is a must-see for its ability to display emotion in such a way that directly impacts the visitor. I visited the exhibition with my grandmother who does not understand English or French (or contemporary art for that matter), yet her awe and experience of this dynamic atmosphere was no less than mine.
Nane Zadoorian
*Exhibition information: Paul Maheke, In spite of my desire to see you disappear, September 28 – November 30, 2024, Mercer Union, 1286 Bloor Street West, Toronto. Gallery hours: Tue – Sat, 11 am – 6 pm.